One of my best friends in India is now engaged. He spent two years in Sydney and is like my mother. We travelled all through Europe last year. He lives in a small town in India where he is the only gay in the village. After years of pressure and the believe that he would never meet a gay life partner, he has gotten engaged to a woman. He says all the gay men he does meet in India are married. I am not judging him, and I cannot help but wonder if he was the right idea? As gay men, are we better in finding our long term partner through friendship, a straight marriage? Or is there hope to fall in love and have a long term relationship? I do not have many models for long term gay love. None of my friends have been in long term relationships lasting more than three years. That includes me. I do not know many couples who seem to succeed these days. Just this weekend, I learned that two couples called it quits. It is a shame because they seemed to really have what it took to make it worth.

• Egypt Old Singles

My follow DC blogger Chris wrote about his partner’s fear that some day Chris will break up with him. Chris is married with two children. He has had the unique opportunity to experience both a heterosexual relationship and a long term gay relationship. In the straight world, marriage is a legal contract. There are children, laws and baggage that keep people married. In some countries, society keeps married people together. In the gay world, guys can fuck and move on to greener pastures. Everyone is afraid to settle down, afraid to get into relationship and afraid to fall in love.

• Hong Kong Older Men and Women

Maybe it’s fear. My friend Zach met a lovely guy on New Year’s Eve. It was romantic…the Sydney fireworks…they spent all night together..talking and getting to know each other. For the last two weeks they were inseparable…making plans to travel together, booking tickets for all the Sydney Festival events and talking about meeting each other’s parents. That was until the guy got afraid. He told Zach he needed space. It was all moving to fast even though a few days earlier he had told Zach he had never met someone like him. Now he won’t return Zach’s phone calls. What happened? Was it too much intimacy too sudden? Or just fear? Fear to be hurt? I’m afraid to love again…the prospect of dating scares me. My heart is broken and I’m not sure if it can take any more damage. It’s a tough world out there…and I’m just like most guys in this city…afraid.

• Jordan Loveawake

Friends + Lovers = misunderstandings. I write a lot about this topic...this blurb between friendship and romantic love. It seems many of my friends are dealing with this dilemma. Falling in love can be risky, but even more so when it happens to be your friend. A friend of mine told his crush how he felt about him. He thought the friendship was strong enough but now his crush has unfriended him on facebook and refuses to return his messages. Is he scared? Did he cross a line? Some men cannot handle the truth. You can ignore a guy for weeks but the moment you tell him that you love him or want to be in a monogamous relationship...it can freak them out and they can never disappear.

• Kyrgyzstan Loveawake

So now my friend has neither the potential of a boyfriend nor a friendship. His friend has become his Frenemy. That is the thing about the “L” word. Once you tell a friend that...you can never take it back...not even after a night of drinking. That friendship can become akward or even disappear. I had a crush once on my mate Dan. I hesitated about telling him. I was not in love with him but certainly wanted to explore more than just a friendship. I was infatuated with him...silly as a schoolgirl. I finally told him. He said he wanted to just be friends. I was slightly crushed but I valued the friendship and he was very flattered. We are still friends. I’m glad that I told him and even more glad that we did not start dating. We worked as friends as lovers.

• Kuwait Loveawake Dating